Wow, what a break I’ve had! You know when life seems to be steaming rolling ahead and all you can do is hang on and try and enjoy the ride? Well that’s kinda how I have felt these last few weeks. It feels like just yesterday is was the lead up to Christmas but somehow we are already in the second month of the year?
So much has been happening for us! Shane and I are expecting our first child, a little boy due at the end of July. To say we are excited is an understatement. I’m so excited to meet this little guy, see who he looks most like (I hope he gets his fathers good looks tbh) and to see what his personality will be. But before all of that we have to get through pregnancy. And I’ll be honest, I’ve actually had it pretty good. There was about 4 weeks at the start where I was constantly nauseous, throwing up and just down right exhausted. But after I hit that 12 week mark I started to feel much better. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, some women really suffer with morning sickness and for a lot longer too, so I was pretty thankful even when I didn’t feel my best.
Now I am just in that awkward stage of being pregnant but not really feeling it (besides being hungry. all. the. damn. time.) and looking like I may just be gaining weight instead of growing a baby! It’s weird that you actually crave getting a belly, like the proper pregnant belly, not the weird bloated one I have now.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about what will happen to my body. Will I get stretch marks? Will my nipples ever go back to normal (those areola’s are growing!), will I struggle after birth to lose the weight? Things that seems superficial and probably won’t even cross my mind once he is here but things that I do find myself thinking about. It’s only normal to wonder what’s going to happen and how it’ll change who you are. How we look is such a big identity of who we are, whether we admit it or not. I’m not saying it’s a good or a bad thing, but it is part of who I am. The way I have always looked is going to change and possibly may never come back - it’s something I’m still processing.
I am grateful, however, for my body. For the fact that we fell pregnant relatively easily. For the fact that it can create and grow a whole other being. For my husband, who will love me and my body for bringing our son into the world. I’m excited to start our family but I am definitely enjoying these last moments of just us.
I have also made a conscious decision to start documenting our next chapter and journey on here! I have been beyond slack but I really want to remember these moments. I want to be able to read back on this time, remember my feelings, my thoughts, what we went through.
So here’s to the next chapter, being open and honest as we navigate new beginnings.
With love, The Brews x